Nine Myths About Domestic Violence
Myth 1: Victims of domestic violence
like to be beaten.
Fact: Victims of domestic violence have historically been characterized
as masochistic women who enjoy being beaten. Evidence does not support
this anachronistic psychological theory. Rather, victims of domestic
violence desperately want the abuse to end, and engage in various
survival strategies, including calling the police or seeking help from
family members, to protect themselves and their children. (Dutton, The
Dynamics of Domestic Violence, 1994) Silence may also be a survival
strategy in some cases. Moreover, enduring a beating to keep the
batterer from attacking the children may be a coping strategy used by a
victim, but does not mean that the victim enjoys it.
Myth 2: Victims of domestic violence
have psychological disorders.
Fact: This characterization of battered women as mentally ill stems from
the assumption that victims of domestic violence must be sick or they
would not "take" the abuse. More recent theories demonstrate that
battered women resist abuse in a variety of ways. (Dutton, The Dynamics
of Domestic Violence, 1994) In addition, most victims of domestic
violence are not mentally ill, although individuals with mental
disabilities are certainly not immune from being abused by their spouses
or intimate partners. Some victims of domestic violence suffer
psychological effects, such as post-traumatic stress disorder or
depression, as a result of being abused. (Dutton, Post-Traumatic Stress
Disorder Amoung Battered Women, 1994)
Myth 3: Low self-esteem causes victims
to get involved in abusive relationships.
Fact: Traditional theories presumed that individuals with adequate
self-esteem would not "allow" themselves to be abused by intimate
partners or spouses. In fact, studies have demonstrated that victims of
domestic violence fail to share common characteristics other than being
female. (Cahn & Meier, 1995) There is little support for the theory that
low self-esteem causes victims to become involved in abusive
relationships, however, some victims may experience a decrease in
self-esteem as a result of being abused, since perpetrators frequently
degrade, humiliate, and criticize victims.
Myth 4: Victims of domestic violence
never leave their abusers, or if they do, they just get involved in
other abusive relationships.
Fact: Most victims of domestic violence leave their abusers, often
several times. It may take a number of attempts to permanently separate
because abusers use violence, financial control, or threats about the
children, to compel victims to return. Additionally, a lack of support
from friends, family members, or professionals, such as court personnel,
law enforcement officers, counselors, or clergy members, may cause
victims to return. Since the risk of further violence often increases
after victims separate from their abusers, it can be even harder for
victims to leave if they cannot obtain effective legal relief. Victims
who receive appropriate legal assistance at an early stage increase
their chances of obtaining the protection and financial security they
need to leave their abusers permanently. While some victims may become
involved with other partners who later begin to abuse them, there is no
evidence that the majority of victims have this experience.
Myth 5: Batterers abuse their partners
or spouses because of alcohol or drug abuse.
Fact: Alcohol or substance abuse does not cause perpetrators of domestic
violence to abuse their partners, though it is frequently used as an
excuse. Substance abuse may increase the frequency or severity of
violent episodes in some cases. (Jillson & Scott, 1996) Because
substance abuse does not cause domestic violence, requiring batterers to
attend only substance abuse treatment programs will not effectively end
the violence. Such programs may be useful in conjunction with other
programs, such as batterer intervention programs.
Myth 6: Perpetrators of domestic
violence abuse their partners or spouses because they are under a lot of
stress or unemployed.
Fact: Stress or unemployment does not cause batterers to abuse their
partners. Since domestic violence cuts across socioeconomic lines,
domestic abuse cannot be attributed to unemployment or poverty.
Similarly, advocates note that if stress caused domestic violence,
batterers would assault their bosses or co-workers rather than their
intimate partners. Domestic violence flourishes because society condones
spouse or partner abuse, and because perpetrators learn that they can
achieve what they want through the use of force, without facing serious
consequences.
Myth 7: Law enforcement and judicial
responses, such as arresting batterers or issuing civil protection
orders, are useless.
Fact: There is a great deal of debate about the efficacy of particular
actions by law enforcement or the judiciary. Research on the usefulness
of mandatory arrest or civil protection orders has yielded conflicting
results. (See Buzawa & Buzawa, 1996; Sherman & Berk, 1984; Zorza, 1994)
Most experts agree, however, that actions by one piece of the system are
only effective when the rest of the criminal justice and civil systems
are functioning, (Zorza, 1996; Wanless, 1996) and that improved
protocols can decrease domestic violence related homicides. (telephone
interview, Ann O'Dell, 1996) Thus, law enforcement officers must make
arrests, prosecutors must prosecute domestic violence cases, and courts
must enforce orders and impose sanctions for criminal convictions. It is
important for batterers to receive the message from the community that
domestic violence will not be tolerated, and that the criminal justice
and law enforcement systems will be involved until the violence ceases.
Myth 8: Children are not affected when
one parent abuses the other.
Fact: Studies show that in 50-70% of cases in which a parent abuses
another parent, the children are also physically abused. (Bowker et al.,
1988) Children also suffer emotional, cognitive, behavioral, and
developmental impairments as a result of witnessing domestic violence in
the home. (Jaffe, 1990) In addition, some children (especially boys) who
experience domestic violence in their homes grow up to repeat the same
behavioral patterns. (Hotaling & Sugarman, 1986).
For example, an advocate at a shelter in North Florida reported that
one abuser threatened to come to the shelter and kill the victim and
anyone who stood in his way. The abuser revealed that he knew where the
shelter was because he stayed there as a child when his mother ran away
from his father. (Hassler, 1997).
Myth 9: Domestic violence is irrelevant
to parental fitness.
Fact: Because children often suffer physical and emotional harm from
living in violent homes, domestic violence is extremely relevant to
parental fitness. (ABA News Release, 1997) A history of domestic
violence can indicate that the perpetrating parent physically or
emotionally abuses the child as well as the other parent. In addition,
abusers frequently use the children as pawns to continue to control the
other parent. Further, an abuser's focus on controlling the victim
undermines the abuser's ability to parent because the primary concern is
not the child. Courts should consider the effects of the abuser's
behavior on the children when determining custody and visitation
arrangements.
Some courts mistakenly penalize the victim in custody cases by
assuming that the victim is emotionally unstable because of the violence
or because the victim "let the violence happen." In most states,
however, custody statutes now recognize that domestic violence is
relevant to the abuser's parental fitness. Courts in most states are
required to consider domestic violence as a factor in custody
determinations or employ a presumption that perpetrators should not
receive custody of the children. (The Family Violence Project of the
National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges, 1995)
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Sources Cited
Mary Ann Dutton, The Dynamics of Domestic Violence:
Understanding the Response from Battered Women, 68(9) Fla. Bar J. 24, 26
(1994).
Id.
Mary Ann Dutton, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Among Battered Women:
Analysis of Legal Implications, 12 Behav. Sci. & the Law 215, 219
(1994).
Naomi Cahn & Joan S. Meier, Domestic Violence and Feminist
Jurisprudence: Towards a New Agenda, 4 B.U. Pub. Int. L. J. 339 (1995)
(discussing stereotypes of battered women).
Irene Anne Jillson & Bettina Scott, Violence, Women and Alcohol:
Reducing the Risks, Redressing the Consequences, Dep't of Health & Human
Services, Draft Report, Jan. 1996.
Do Arrest and Restraining Orders Work? (Eve S. Buzawa & Carl G.
Buzawa, eds., 1996); Lawrence W. Sherman & Richard A. Berk, The
Minneapolis Domestic Violence Experiment, Police Foundation Reports 1
(Apr. 1984); Joan Zorza, Must We Stop Arresting Batterers? Analysis and
Policy Implications of New Police Domestic Violence Studies, 28 New Eng.
L. Rev. 929 (1994).
Joan Zorza, Must We Stop Arresting Batterers? Analysis and Policy
Implications of New Police Domestic Violence Studies, 28 New Eng. L.
Rev. 929, 964 (1994). See also, Marion
Wanless, Mandatory Arrest: A Step Toward Eradicating Domestic
Violence, But Is It Enough?, 1996 U. Ill. L. Rev. 533, 569.
After domestic violence training was implemented in 1991 by the San
Diego Police Department, the rate of domestic violence arrests
increased, and the rate of domestic violence related homicides was
drastically reduced by 59%. Telephone Interview with Anne O'Dell,
Retired Detective Sergeant, San Diego Police Department (June 14, 1996).
Lee H. Bowker et al., On the Relationship Between Wife Beating and
Child Abuse, in Feminist Perspectives on Wife Abuse 158, 159, 162 (Kerstii
Yllo & Michelle Bograd eds., 1988).
Peter Jaffe, Children of Battered Women 28 (1990).
Gerald T. Hotaling & David B. Sugarman, An Analysis of Risk Markers
in Husband to Wife Violence: The Current State of Knowledge, 1(2)
Violence and Victims 101, 106 (1986). The Third Report of the Governor's
Task Force on Domestic and Sexual Violence 2 (Robin S. Hassler, ed.,
1997).
More than 90% of lawyers and psychologists who attended a joint
educational conference of the American Bar Association Section of Family
Law and the American Psychological Association concurred that a person's
ability to parent effectively is affected by whether or not he or she is
a spousal batterer. Lawyers and Psychologists Question Abusers' Ability
to Parent, ABA News Release, April 23, 1997.
The Family Violence Project of the National Council of Juvenile and
Family Court Judges, Family Violence in Child Custody Statutes: An
Analysis of State Codes and Legal Practice, 29 Fam. L. Q. 197, 199
(1995).